Carry on Camping? No bloody thanks!

“Hello, I have a gun….”

• Last week’s rant saw me take on the great outdoors, or, more specifically the mystifying need for people to ‘rough it’. Camping – what’s it for? Well, I don’t bloody know to be honest, but I try and grapple with the question all the same.
•  Hear me carry on about camping on
• my Friday rant slot, reproduced on the player below for your delight:

You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30pm CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again. This Friday, may 18th, I tackle Leafblowers. You heard it hear first.

Kev Moore

Rain?…..what Rain?

“Shit.”

“bollocks.”

Hosepipe bans, Standpipes, and more rain than you shake a soggy umbrella at. The United kingdom, in all it’s eccentric and frankly, mental glory. Hear me elucidate on

my Friday rant slot, reproduced on the player below for your delight:

You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

Statues of limitations

"Oh, shit - I left the oven on....."

 Statues. “but how can inanimate objects piss you off Kev?” I hear you cry. Well, my answer to that may well be “have you ever seen The Jesus and Mary chain play live?” – but I would be digressing.Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the rant, and find out why, amongst others, Carla Bruni and Ken Livingstone become the target for my ire.

There’s also a brand new song “Statue of Only Me”, featuring sax from the fabulous Tufty  Gordon (see below).

Tufty and Me

You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

Karaoke: The Devil’s Work

This is what Hell looks like....

Karaoke. The word alone is enough to strike terror into your hearts isn’t it? Akin to somebody saying ‘Justin Bieber’. So it’s time, my cherished reader, to address this virus that has bestraddled the world and caused more heartache than ebola.

 Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the Karaoke rant.  You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

vandalising moronic bastards

You won’t hear this one on the radio.  We got home from our lovely 6 week trip to Cyprus and Crete to find someone had spray painted big frigging red lines under every bannister on our communal stairwell, three floors, all the way to the top. So listen up, all you trendy arty twats out there: GRAFFITI IS NOT ART. IT IS CRIMINAL FUCKING DAMAGE.

If I ever actually found the piece of scum doing this in my building, The spray can would be jammed permanently on, shoved up their arse, and I’d break their arms. And no, I’m not joking. Let’s see if they could paint something fucking interesting then. “duh, yeah, I created this during my ‘bloody stump’ period”  Moronic, mindless bastards, doubtless brought up by similarly minded morons.

Perhaps the parents would get the message if I tracked them down to the tenements where they live and I spray painted their mother.

So next time some twat in a hoodie gets an award for some ‘street’ bollocks, just remember, he’s just a loser with a spray can, and zero respect.

Maybe we can continue encouraging them to try and spray the train carriages, at least then there’s half a chance some of the pondlife will be culled in the process.

Kev Moore

A load of old rubbish

Look what they're making you do, you suckers! The only one missing is a coffin-sized black one to put yourself in after you've killed yourself with the stress of it all....

This week, I thought I’d train my sights on how we get rid of our garbage. No, I don’t mean putting Jedward on the Front Line, I mean disposing of our household waste, and more specifically the difference between Spain, and England in this regard. After my customary in-depth research I have concluded that it is , in fact, totally bonkers. Check it out on my rant from last weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear it.  You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

The Coffee Cup Rant

 

I like my coffee. I don’t like it strong, but by God, I like a lot of it. So now it’s time to stick to those namby-pamby restauranteurs who think coffee should be served in a thimble. Philistines! Get yer Mugs out!!!!  Listen to my rant from last weekend, where I wax lyrical about all things caffeine, complete with a song, The Coffee cup mambo. You can click above to watch the video, or just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the whole rant.  You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

Spanish build Quality

A balcony only Spider-man could love.....

I bet you never thought you’d see ‘Spanish’ and ‘Quality’ in the same sentence. Except perhaps when talking about football. Anyway, don’t worry, because it’s LACK of quality I’m railing against on my rant from the weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear it.  You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

 

Soul-less automatic phone answering services

"I can't take it anymore....."

You’ve been there. You’re at your wit’s end. Your accounts in the red, or your Washing machine’s broken down, and you need to speak to someone about it. you call the helpline, except it’s no help at all. At the end is some kind of zombie female robot with pre-arranged answers. AAARGH!  Hear me vent on my rant from the weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post.  You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore

The Chinese Birth Control Policy

Only one of these kids is legal. Probably.

The Chinese. Again. this time it’s to take a closer look at their birth control policy and what unforseen effects its having on the land of illegally copied goods.  Ironic really. They stop you reproducing kids, but reproduce a designer handbag, or a car, and you can knock yourself out, mate – make a million of ‘em! So take a listen to my rant from the weekend where I have a go at our epicanthically-folded friends!  There’s also a song “Just one more”. Just Click on the player at the foot of this post.  You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.

Kev Moore