“The Euro casts a shadow over Spain……can you see what I did there?”
It had to happen, my take on why the Spanish economy (and everybody else’s) has gone totally and utterly tits up. I know its more Bananarama than Panorama, but hell, everybody has an opinion, and here’s mine….Just click on the player to hear this BayRadio rant from a couple of weeks ago in its entirety. Don’t forget, you can also listen live to Bay Radio by clicking on the appropriate icon. My next live broadcast will be around 2130 CET on The Sunset Strip with Noelle on Friday night, repeated Sunday lunchtime on The Sunday Brunch. This week, I attack Pigeons. Never let it be said that I shy away from a broad remit.
“I’m doing my bit for the environment…” “what?? I can’t hear you?”….”I said, I’M DOING MY BIT FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!!!” A leafblower recently, failing to grasp the supreme irony.
Here’s an extract from my recent Friday night Bay Radio rant about Leafblowers:
“…Who the hell ever decided leaf-blowers were a good idea? I mean, I get the need for inventors. You have folks around you dying of cancer and stuff, you feel the need to try and invent a cure, or you can’t figure out how to get a screw to stay in a brick wall, so you invent a rawplug to help it stay there. You’re fed up with walking, or feeding the horse, you invent the car. I get it.
But a leaf blower???? In the name of all that’s holy – why???? ……”
(To hear the rest of this rant, click on the player below)
You can listen to me every Friday on the sunset Strip with Noelle, around 9.30pm CET, and on The Sunday Brunch, with Bob and Noelle, around midday CET
To listen to Bay Radio live, just click on the icon below.
Hosepipe bans, Standpipes, and more rain than you shake a soggy umbrella at. The United kingdom, in all it’s eccentric and frankly, mental glory. Hear me elucidate on
my Friday rant slot, reproduced on the player below for your delight:
You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
Statues. “but how can inanimate objects piss you off Kev?” I hear you cry. Well, my answer to that may well be “have you ever seen The Jesus and Mary chain play live?” – but I would be digressing.Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the rant, and find out why, amongst others, Carla Bruni and Ken Livingstone become the target for my ire.
There’s also a brand new song “Statue of Only Me”, featuring sax from the fabulous Tufty Gordon (see below).
Tufty and Me
You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
Look what they're making you do, you suckers! The only one missing is a coffin-sized black one to put yourself in after you've killed yourself with the stress of it all....
This week, I thought I’d train my sights on how we get rid of our garbage. No, I don’t mean putting Jedward on the Front Line, I mean disposing of our household waste, and more specifically the difference between Spain, and England in this regard. After my customary in-depth research I have concluded that it is , in fact, totally bonkers. Check it out on my rant from last weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear it. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
The Chinese. Again. this time it’s to take a closer look at their birth control policy and what unforseen effects its having on the land of illegally copied goods. Ironic really. They stop you reproducing kids, but reproduce a designer handbag, or a car, and you can knock yourself out, mate – make a million of ’em! So take a listen to my rant from the weekend where I have a go at our epicanthically-folded friends! There’s also a song “Just one more”. Just Click on the player at the foot of this post. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
I’m afraid the site’s a little behind schedule dear readers, I’ll be making up any shortfall in the New Year because I’m jetting off to Morocco for the holidays, but for now enjoy my rant about The Chinese, as heard on The Sunset Strip with Noelle on Bay Radio last Friday. Don’t forget, you can listen in every Friday 9.30pm CET, and every Sunday around 11.30am CET on The Sunday Brunch. Just click on the LISTEN LIVE logo at the bottom, and click on the player to hear last Friday’s rant.
Last weeks rant includes a song “Yangtse Noodle Dandy”, and here are the lyrics:
We watch with Western wide-eyed wonder While a billion cheap Chinese, build guitars and cars and roll cigars for just a fraction of the fees
Now Uncle Sam’s a pipedream with his staid democracy Cos those tiny little communistas Chopped the dude off at the knees
Yangtse noodle dandy Chopsticks it to the man Turn Nevada into Paddy fields San Antone to Old Siam
Tiannamen square’s behind him What’s some corpses between friends And hijacking your economy Is the way to make amends
Mao and all his cronies never saw this in their wildest dreams To flood the west with phonies It’s the ultimate subversive scheme
Yangtse noodle dandy Chopstick it to the man shanghai’s san antonio San Antone to Old Siam
So next time you pick a mug from starbucks A souvenir from New Orleans Turn it over see where it’s made And ponder for a moment just what that means
Of COURSE he's insane, you idiots! Now just do everybody a favour and shoot the bastard.
No -I’m not talking about the idiot shit-for-brains psychiatrist’s assessment of Norwegian mass-murderer Anders Breivik. I’m talking about the decision itself. How the hell can anybody declare this guy not fit for trial???? F*cking academics!! Up their own arse. You just knew the lily-livered liberals would win this one didn’t you? Arguing the pros and cons of whether he’s insane is bordering on the asinine. Of course he’s insane!! He killed a shit-load of innocent people! But you don’t put the animal in hospital, you exterminate him. One of the excuses being put forward regarding his almost certain hospitalization is that it will prevent him from becoming a martyr in prison, spreading his extremism. Yeah? I’ll tell you what prevents most things, as he all too clearly illustrated – a bullet in the head. The only thing good enough for him. I’m sure the Norwegian taxpayer (one of the most heavily taxed in the world) would be happy to stump up the cost of a bullet, as opposed to a lifetime of cushiness in a comfy private mental institution. I just hope one of the parents does the right thing. Of course, if they got caught, they couldn’t plead insanity, because quite clearly, it’s the rational thing to do. You put down rabid dogs, everybody knows that.
So FIFA, that bloated behemoth of world football has taken the outrageous decision to ban the wearing of poppies on England’s shirts for Saturday’s game against Spain. It’s about time somebody got hold of these lard-assed, bloated cigar-chomping European sycophants and beat some sense into them. The only reason they have the freedom to suck the game dry and fill their coffers with impunity is because millions of servicemen gave their lives to keep the world free. Europe should take a long hard look at itself. While most of it was rolling over and getting ready to take one, or worse, collaborating with the enemy and shopping their own, our Tommies were fighting to the death to free their pathetic ass-wipe countries from the tyranny they didnt have the stomach to deal with, so don’t come over here shouting the odds Blatter, we’ll have you for breakfast mate. Let us wear the poppies with pride, or we’ll bury your corrupt carcass neck deep in the Flanders mud.
Hello everybody peeps - want to buy a second-hand kebab?
I thought I heard that in a song somewhere…….but really, Greece has become that nasty something you want to scrape off the bottom of your shoe, the embarrassing smell at the Vicar’s tea party, your black sheep brother who gambles away the family jewels. We should cut this loser, bankrupt nation loose right now. They can’t organize a piss-up in a brewery and it’s dragging the rest of Europe along with it. All our savings take a huge nosedive anytime one of these popodopolopololopous’s so much as farts. Now they want a referendum!!! there’s nothing to say! You’ve got your country in the shit, YOU get out of it, but in the meantime, stay the hell away from the rest of us! European unity my arse, you’re on your own Stavros , old pal.
Want some Moore??! 