“The Euro casts a shadow over Spain……can you see what I did there?”
It had to happen, my take on why the Spanish economy (and everybody else’s) has gone totally and utterly tits up. I know its more Bananarama than Panorama, but hell, everybody has an opinion, and here’s mine….Just click on the player to hear this BayRadio rant from a couple of weeks ago in its entirety. Don’t forget, you can also listen live to Bay Radio by clicking on the appropriate icon. My next live broadcast will be around 2130 CET on The Sunset Strip with Noelle on Friday night, repeated Sunday lunchtime on The Sunday Brunch. This week, I attack Pigeons. Never let it be said that I shy away from a broad remit.
“I’m doing my bit for the environment…” “what?? I can’t hear you?”….”I said, I’M DOING MY BIT FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!!!” A leafblower recently, failing to grasp the supreme irony.
Here’s an extract from my recent Friday night Bay Radio rant about Leafblowers:
“…Who the hell ever decided leaf-blowers were a good idea? I mean, I get the need for inventors. You have folks around you dying of cancer and stuff, you feel the need to try and invent a cure, or you can’t figure out how to get a screw to stay in a brick wall, so you invent a rawplug to help it stay there. You’re fed up with walking, or feeding the horse, you invent the car. I get it.
But a leaf blower???? In the name of all that’s holy – why???? ……”
(To hear the rest of this rant, click on the player below)
You can listen to me every Friday on the sunset Strip with Noelle, around 9.30pm CET, and on The Sunday Brunch, with Bob and Noelle, around midday CET
To listen to Bay Radio live, just click on the icon below.
Look what they're making you do, you suckers! The only one missing is a coffin-sized black one to put yourself in after you've killed yourself with the stress of it all....
This week, I thought I’d train my sights on how we get rid of our garbage. No, I don’t mean putting Jedward on the Front Line, I mean disposing of our household waste, and more specifically the difference between Spain, and England in this regard. After my customary in-depth research I have concluded that it is , in fact, totally bonkers. Check it out on my rant from last weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear it. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
You’ve been there. You’re at your wit’s end. Your accounts in the red, or your Washing machine’s broken down, and you need to speak to someone about it. you call the helpline, except it’s no help at all. At the end is some kind of zombie female robot with pre-arranged answers. AAARGH! Hear me vent on my rant from the weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
So FIFA, that bloated behemoth of world football has taken the outrageous decision to ban the wearing of poppies on England’s shirts for Saturday’s game against Spain. It’s about time somebody got hold of these lard-assed, bloated cigar-chomping European sycophants and beat some sense into them. The only reason they have the freedom to suck the game dry and fill their coffers with impunity is because millions of servicemen gave their lives to keep the world free. Europe should take a long hard look at itself. While most of it was rolling over and getting ready to take one, or worse, collaborating with the enemy and shopping their own, our Tommies were fighting to the death to free their pathetic ass-wipe countries from the tyranny they didnt have the stomach to deal with, so don’t come over here shouting the odds Blatter, we’ll have you for breakfast mate. Let us wear the poppies with pride, or we’ll bury your corrupt carcass neck deep in the Flanders mud.
For those of you who don’t yet know, I have a weekly spot on BayRadio, which serves the Spanish costas, and the wider world via the web.
– And here’s another opportunity for you to listen to last Friday’s rant – with a difference! This one also features a song, “Fly Me Baby” specially written for the subject. You can sing along – the lyrics are printed below! I went for a Randy Newman, tongue-in-cheek kind of style. Hope you like it! Anyway, after you’ve checked it out on the player below, don’t forget to listen in on Friday night at 9.30pm CET for my latest rant on The Sunset Strip with Noelle. If you miss it, it will now be regularly repeated with Noelle & Bob on The Sunday Brunch around 11.30am CET. To listen in anywhere in the world, click on the ‘LISTEN LIVE’ link.
FLY ME BABY
Fly me baby it’s a minefield out there Fly me baby tell me what is the fare? I’m ticking all the boxes Ive forgotten only one and I’ve paid for skis Ive never had and someone else’s son
Fly me baby speedy boarding my ass Give me a wheelchair I’ll get on just as fast They’re always bleating they’re on time, and that they’re the best But trust me, you cannot be late when you haven’t even left
Fly me baby you can buy their own bag It seems that lately though there’s one little snag:
They say that my bag’s dimensions Are all that I need to get by But how come the extra attention Then they hit me with a fine Cos I brought an extra tie (are you gonna let me fly?)
Fly me baby take a notion from me On the internet, nothin’s for free If you decide to go abroad, wander from home You’ll get to where you wanna go A little quicker don’tcha know… …by phone.
This site certainly understands more than most the reasons for, and moreover the NEED to moan about how crap everything is. And everything is really crap right now. The Euro in your pocket’s value is plummeting so fast that by the end of the week you’re gonna need a frickin’ wheelbarrow to carry enough to the shop just to buy a goddamn Mars bar – and that’s only if Mars haven’t gone into liquidation, or been sold to the Chinese.
Hell, things are so bad you can buy a house around here for two bloody mars bars, and that’s detached (the house, not the chocolate confection)
A Mars bar yesterday. If you only have one, you'll have to rent.
But fear not, dear mug punter and unwitting pawn of Western democracy and Baker’s beeyatch, good things are beginning to emerge from this economic hell-hole. That last bastion of Western European terrorism, and refuge for pointless freedom fighters, ETA, is reeling on the brink of collapse. Yep, that’s right, this is an equal opportunities crisis and makes no distinction between the sun-baked tourist and the strange little man with the beret and the pillowcase on his head and the funny language who wants to blow him all to bits. It seems that ETA’s finances are so bad, they only look able to survive for about a year, and according to Police sources are ‘scraping the barrel.’ Exactly what that means, I’m not sure – are they buying a lower class of grenade? Anyhow, their campaign of urban violence is on the wane, and arrests are on the up – 46 since the beginning of the year, and desperate to forestall the inevitable, ETA’s leaders have declared a permanent ceasefire. Now if only we can get the U.S.A. and Britain to do that……..
Yes, it’s true folks, my moanings and mutterings will now beamed out across the Spanish Costas and around the wider world via the internet, courtesy of Bay Radio. Every Friday night on The Sunset Strip with Noelle, you’ll be able to listen to me sounding off about anything and everything, at 9.30pm CET.
Tune in, and agree with me, or get angry and make me laugh!
You can listen live just by clicking on the Widget below:
This is a true story: There was a Spanish guy, who last year, was involved in a very bad car crash, who managed to survive. A year later, he decided, along with his two Aunts, to set out from his village on a walking pilgrimage to visit and give thanks for his survival to the Virgin Mary. I don’t know where she lives in Spain, to be honest….probably not Benidorm, can’t imagine there are too many virgins there….anyway, he and his aunts had barely left the outskirts of his village when all three of them were run down by a truck and killed.
If God has a favourite TV programme, it’s probably JACKASS.
When I first heard about this, my first thought was “Get back to work, you lazy bastards.” But then I took time to consider the extenuating circumstances, economic climate, etc, and my second thought was “get back to work you lazy bastards.”
It seems that they’re on strike because of non-payment of wages since the end of 2010, but closer inspection reveals it is chiefly the lower-paid Second division players that are awaiting their wages. So hey, all you ludicrously overpaid ‘estrellas’, get real, get your hands in your pockets and give them some of your outrageously exorbitant wages, and while you’re at it, tell the dickheads that run the modern game that one day this bloated excuse for the beautiful game will have to face economic reality instead of relying on shady Russian gangsters.