“The Euro casts a shadow over Spain……can you see what I did there?”
It had to happen, my take on why the Spanish economy (and everybody else’s) has gone totally and utterly tits up. I know its more Bananarama than Panorama, but hell, everybody has an opinion, and here’s mine….Just click on the player to hear this BayRadio rant from a couple of weeks ago in its entirety. Don’t forget, you can also listen live to Bay Radio by clicking on the appropriate icon. My next live broadcast will be around 2130 CET on The Sunset Strip with Noelle on Friday night, repeated Sunday lunchtime on The Sunday Brunch. This week, I attack Pigeons. Never let it be said that I shy away from a broad remit.
Last week’s rant saw me take on the great outdoors, or, more specifically the mystifying need for people to ‘rough it’. Camping – what’s it for? Well, I don’t bloody know to be honest, but I try and grapple with the question all the same.
Hear me carry on about camping on
my Friday rant slot, reproduced on the player below for your delight:
You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30pm CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again. This Friday, may 18th, I tackle Leafblowers. You heard it hear first.
Hosepipe bans, Standpipes, and more rain than you shake a soggy umbrella at. The United kingdom, in all it’s eccentric and frankly, mental glory. Hear me elucidate on
my Friday rant slot, reproduced on the player below for your delight:
You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
Statues. “but how can inanimate objects piss you off Kev?” I hear you cry. Well, my answer to that may well be “have you ever seen The Jesus and Mary chain play live?” – but I would be digressing.Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the rant, and find out why, amongst others, Carla Bruni and Ken Livingstone become the target for my ire.
There’s also a brand new song “Statue of Only Me”, featuring sax from the fabulous Tufty Gordon (see below).
Tufty and Me
You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
Karaoke. The word alone is enough to strike terror into your hearts isn’t it? Akin to somebody saying ‘Justin Bieber’. So it’s time, my cherished reader, to address this virus that has bestraddled the world and caused more heartache than ebola.
Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the Karaoke rant. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
Look what they're making you do, you suckers! The only one missing is a coffin-sized black one to put yourself in after you've killed yourself with the stress of it all....
This week, I thought I’d train my sights on how we get rid of our garbage. No, I don’t mean putting Jedward on the Front Line, I mean disposing of our household waste, and more specifically the difference between Spain, and England in this regard. After my customary in-depth research I have concluded that it is , in fact, totally bonkers. Check it out on my rant from last weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear it. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
I like my coffee. I don’t like it strong, but by God, I like a lot of it. So now it’s time to stick to those namby-pamby restauranteurs who think coffee should be served in a thimble. Philistines! Get yer Mugs out!!!! Listen to my rant from last weekend, where I wax lyrical about all things caffeine, complete with a song, The Coffee cup mambo. You can click above to watch the video, or just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear the whole rant. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
I bet you never thought you’d see ‘Spanish’ and ‘Quality’ in the same sentence. Except perhaps when talking about football. Anyway, don’t worry, because it’s LACK of quality I’m railing against on my rant from the weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post to hear it. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
You’ve been there. You’re at your wit’s end. Your accounts in the red, or your Washing machine’s broken down, and you need to speak to someone about it. you call the helpline, except it’s no help at all. At the end is some kind of zombie female robot with pre-arranged answers. AAARGH! Hear me vent on my rant from the weekend . Just Click on the player at the foot of this post. You can also listen live to Bayradio by clicking on the listen live icon below. I appear on The Sunset Strip with Noelle every Friday night around 9.30 pm CET, and it’s repeated every Sunday around 1..30am CET on The Sunday Brunch with Bob and Noelle. But if, heaven forbid, you miss them, you can always check in here to listen again.
"When I grow up I want to be Mariah Carey, you bastards"
I returned to the airwaves this weekend with my Bayradio rant – this time turning my sights on celebrities.(An easy target, I know, so hey! Let’s do it!) Now, I’ve been lucky enough to be the beneficiary of occasional ‘special treatment’ or ‘freebies’, and very nice it is too, but when these bloody A-listers think they are so far above us that they can behave like small children it really gets my Capra Hircus, or goat, for the less well-read among you. Now, a little secret, dear reader…. I recorded this rant before the demise of the reality-challenged Whitney Houston, who had the bad grace to depart this world after I’d mentioned her tantrums in my rant. Being a sensitive soul, I recorded it, and ‘framed’ Mariah Carey for the same outburst. As I mention in the dialogue, it doesn’t really matter, all these dodgy divas are so interchangeable you’d hardly know the difference. Just for the record, Ms.Carey was still drawing breath as this went to press.
There’s an original song with this one – ‘Don’t you know who I think I am’, which will appear on my new album, scheduled for release in the Autumn. The lyrics are below.
Just click on the player to hear my Celebrity strop rant, and click on the Bay Radio ‘listen live’ icon to, well, er…listen live!
Don’t you know who I think I am?
I’m in first class every time I fly – that’s just my way And it’s the stewardesses ass if it ain’t just right, what can I say? And don’t gimme none o’that ‘first in line’ Cos this seats taken and it’s always mine And don’t tell me I can’t use my phone and could you see to it I dine alone?
Don’t you know who I think I am? I’m not one of those you can easily mess with Don’t you know who I think I am I’d like some Dom Perignon and a nice club sandwich…..NOW!
I want the first five rows just for myself – and a cafe au lait I don’t give a damn about no-one else – no, not today I was a tenement brat who never had a lot Now I’m superstar diva takin’ all you got I’d sell my own mama just to get ahead Didnt you listen to what I just said?
Don’t you know who I think I am? I’m not one of those you can easily mess with Don’t you know who I think I am I cant wear my seatbelt cos I’m so exhausted….NOW
Want some Moore??! 